fourth of july

The past few weeks have been about drinking in everything there is to this stage of life.

At the beginning of the year, I had this feeling that everything was about to shift--a deep intuition that this was the time my life would be drawn into a before-and-after in a cataclysmic way. And it was because I was giving my life away for eighteen months of service to God. But my mistake was thinking that the line was vertical. That this change would strike down at a singular point.

It's horizontal. Definitely horizontal. 

A process. Just like everything else these days. 

There is only building. and fighting. and straightening out. and rising.

The line is horizontal. And I'm a process.

I decided early on this year that I can't spend my time waiting for something to pass, or waiting for something to happen, or waiting on anything really at all. Life goes whether you're waiting or not. Whether you're being prodded along or striding at speed or sprinting full-force ahead. It goes.

And I'm doing my best to go with it and not wait for it.

I'm so afraid of taking the wrong path that I don't even own the one I'm on. And then I miss it. I miss my life. And I forsake these beautiful, raw moments because this can't be it, nope. Whatever it is...

So I moved to Arizona. Not because it was what I wanted but rather what I needed. Because I have to stop discrediting my life--this process--with my doubt and negligence. I have to rid myself of the terror and start prodding alongside faith. 

I don't know how anything ends. I don't know where this process is taking me. I don't know my way. So I'm weaving one, the best I know. And at the end I'll look back and say, oh. Oh, so that's how it was supposed to go. It was all supposed to go that way. 

And I drunk it all in. 

Beginning with a fourth of July weekend roadtrip: 

  












+Sunset Crater Volcano Flagstaff, AZ

+Montezuma's Castle Sedona, AZ  
+Taylo and me waving our flags for America 
+Bike tour of the Grand Canyon
+Us at the Grand Canyon (obvi)






xo.pa