on forgetting.

Chartes, France // Shakespeare & Co. Paris, France // Amboise, France

Sometimes I forget that blogs are more entertaining when there are photos. You're welcome. 

Sometimes I forget to remember where I came from and the places I've been. Physically and emotionally. I forget that no one will care if I spent lunch in the library. I forget that no one will dwell on how mean I was myself. I forget that in the big scheme of things who I was doesn't matter. She doesn't exist anymore. Just who I am now. I forget that everything is going to work out the way it’s intended to. And I forget to tell people I love them. Sometimes it’s okay to forget.

Sometimes I forget that at times it’s completely normal to feel like everything’s falling apart, especially when I wake up with a couple new mountains on my forehead and naturally dry elbows and more knots in my stomach than in my headphone chord. I forget that it's okay to spend an entire day in bed for no particular reason. I forget that it’s okay to cry and to feel hurt, and it's okay to feel alone.

Sometimes I forget that it’s okay to make a mistake. I forget that no one is perfect. I forget that it’s okay to mess up. It's okay to have failures. It’s okay to freak out. It’s okay to back up. It’s okay to do things backwards and then learn what is best for you.


Sometimes I forget and that's okay.

Sometimes I forget that it’s okay to feel like I'm stuck on repeat and everyday blends into the next. I forget that I can change that. I forget to play the cards I've been dealt and live the life sitting here in front of me instead of praying for a better hand. I forget that I am blessed with a strong mind, a stronger heart, and a beautiful life. 

Sometimes I forget that I’m not the only person in this world. I forget that I’m not the only one struggling. I forget that there are millions of beautiful people every day who are crying and dying. I forget how blessed and capable I am.

Sometimes I forget that it’s okay to eat a burger and two ice cream cones for dinner. I forget that it's okay to run errands in your bathing suit. I forget that it’s okay to dance to Mat Kearney in the middle of the grocery store and not to care who’s watching and what they're thinking. I forget that it’s okay to live completely out loud.

Sometimes I forget and that’s okay.

Sometimes I forget that this isn't it. That there is so much more to everything. I forget that I won’t feel this way forever. I forget that I'll be able to drive a car again. I forget that relationships can heal. I forget it’s okay that I hate when my hands smell like peanut butter even though I’m not allergic. I forget that one day if I work hard enough, I will be successful in my ambitions.

Sometimes I forget to rely more on God. I forget that Satan is a real force of evil that is continuously trying to make me biff it AFV style, in a spiritual sense. I forget that if Satan is trying someone then she should know she's doing something right. He only tries to break those that are on The Lord's side. And I forget that if the temptations to gallivant through the darkness stop then I should start to worry because he probably is making me a jersey, because he thinks that I'm on his team.

Sometimes I forget that I'm still learning. I forget I'm learning to allow myself to make mistakes. I forget that it's okay to feel the pressure to just be better than who I was, to be healthy. I forget that I'm trying to become better. A better friend. Better sister. Better daughter. Better runner. Better thinker. Just better. And then I forget to strive until I’m satisfied, and I forget to fight until I've won. So I’m still fighting. And I’ll never stop. 

Sometimes I forget these things
but then I remember;
it’s all going to be okay.

xo.pa