My sagacity is skewed.

I'm feeling a little sad today.
But in a way that's mostly sweet.
And struggling with self-confidence.
But in a way that is only self-inflicted.

It's like I'm just about to turn a corner and my body already knows that. And that path is obviously unknown and full of hills and rivets and unexpected sharp turns. Not to take away from the beauty of that path, but the disposition of it all is scary and ripe with loss but still very good.

I react to this with taunts. Instead of letting them bounce right off my body, which I know I'm capable of, I let them become self-destructive. Because the path is sort of scary. And once that corner is turned, it cannot be unturned.

And I don't know what that loss will be.

It's like I'm running toward something really, really important but I don't know what it is yet.

And I don't know if it'll be enough. And that makes me a little sad.
But a good sad. Because part of me also thinks that it might be.

So I lick my lips and taste my own sadness and give thanks for it's unfamiliar flavor.






xo.pa